I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
