Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
