My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i've created a new STD.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
