I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
