Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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