I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
