i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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