He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
