Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
