LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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