Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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