he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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