this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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