Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
