CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
