yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
don't judge my taste in strippers
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
