I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
