it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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