Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
