is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
