Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
