Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
