I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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