Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
