Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is Oprah even human
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
