spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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