Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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