I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
