So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
