That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
