im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize