and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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