Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
