Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
