You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
