thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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