This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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