You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
