I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize