I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
