everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
