Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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