can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
