At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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