my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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