sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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