we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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