my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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