there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
