im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
