the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
