i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
People in love make me want to vomit
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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