We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
