when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Barsexuality is the new black.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
